Having a near life experience

At 730 am is seriously not fun.

Is noon too early for a Samuel Adams Boston Lager?

“Tumblr is the best.”

Dear Coworkers,

Please stop talking. it’s too early to hear about your ankle problems or your headaches. I have a headache of my own. So if I can suffer in silence, so can you.

Today feels like Monday

On my way to work: I realize I spent my last dollar on milk, I got cut off, and another person gave me the middle finger for no apparent reason (I pulled up to that person who was already at a stop light; this is the 2nd time that’s happened this week

When I got to work: I spilled half my cereal getting out of my car and the other half in the elevator. Then my coworker gives me a scented plug in because an advisor who sits near the entrance has bad b/o. (That plug in smelled horrible) and the moment another advisor walks in she goes off on me and removes it.

The only good thing that happened today is that I got a fancy pen.

I love overtime!

Especially when your managers take you to happy hour at fancy restaurants, buy a bottle of brut rose to share and get you whatever cocktail you want (martini of course! )

And when you come in on your day off they have doughnuts and coffee waiting

That awesome moment when…

You get the last toilet seat cover

“If I had a drink for every fuck I gave about you, I’d be intoxicated forever. I’d drink myself to death.”